Four Druids went into a pub…

November 2011,

The Gate Hangs Well Inn, Leicestershire

It’s true, we did.  This was my fourth visit to TGHWI, a charming place with good home-made food, real ales and a friendly atmosphere.  It was quiet in there for once.  Maybe we scared everyone off with our talking of Morris dancing and dildos.  Yeah, that’s right, you read me!

Our usual table had the epitaph of ‘RESERVED’ so we had to make do with sitting by a cosy warm fireplace instead.  A terrible thing to endure, I know, but we enjoyed ourselves immensely.  Two of us had hot dinners, the other two had cheesecake.  Whilst enjoying my locally made pork and leek sausages, both barmaids asked (at different times) as to whether our food was satisfactory.  Do you know hard it was for me to not say something like “Nice sausages” or “lovely bangers” without making it seem like some cheap innuendo!?

To be honest with you, last night’s meeting had no format and no agenda save for chilling out with like-minded friends and talk about anything… everything.

We covered the amusing things our pets and children do, what other pagany types did and the fact that time was actually a big jelly (flavour: unknown.  Cream? Most likely, just no room for seconds… ouch!.).

The main thing that was brought up and discussed was a dream that Tatterhood had, involving all of us receiving gifts from an old man in the woods.  Don’t know if I can go into details here, but let’s just say it posed some interesting questions about what it could mean and what our gifts meant to us.  I was given a pearl, for example, which has two meanings for me: the treasure of a Dragon, according to Chinese legend the pearl was the prized possession of any Dragon and meant knowledge.  The second is irritation; a pearl is formed by a grain of sand becoming trapped in an oyster shell.  The mollusc inside, unable to rid itself of the grain secretes a fluid that encases said grain in a hardened globule.  This in turn gets more layers of secretion added, each time hardening the outside and becoming a pearl.  Soooo, my skin irritation will become something shiny, y’know like the vampires in Twilight?  Or more likely it could mean that knowledge can be gained by learning about my body in order to combat the irritation I do have.

Each grove member was given a gift, I only describe mine because I feel comfortable to do so; that and not everyone was able to come along.

Tatterhood had another revelation: The Muddy Boot.  I had to describe to the barmaid what it was (coke and orange juice), and everyone who tried it was pleasantly surprised.  Except for me, I wasn’t convinced, maybe the girls liked it because it was some kind of combo only girls can like.

Then the vicars arrived! Four there were, but we were younger and could take them easily… Only Joking! There was no trouble.  They wore their white collars, so I got my Awen out.  If they can exhibit religious dress, so can I..

It wasn’t until we were leaving that our Herald declared “Ooh, we should have organised for next month’s meeting.”  Yeah, maybe we should have, but it was a night for sitting back and relaxing and having a good ‘ole chin wag.

For those who couldn’t attend, I wish you the very best and we hope to see you soon.




About locksley2010

Based in the Midlands, Locksley2010 is now studying the Ovate Grade of the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids. He is an actor and storyteller, he likes cats, honest people and thinks he's hilarious. Do not feed after midnight!
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